Husband’s obligations
Posted by Gontua on February 23, 2007
The birth of our first baby brought much joy, work disruption, and wory. Even though we’d prepared for the baby by buying clothes, choosing a crib, discussing names, making arrangements for help, and going faithfully for prenatal checkups, we were still a little bit jolted when we were alone at home with the infant for the first time.
I presume this feeling of unease is normal, especially for first-time parents. All new parents react deeply to the dramatic change in their lives that comes with the addition of a new family member. Many complex physiological and phsychological changes affect new mothers, but complicated changes also occur in fathers when their babies are born. The first born marks a sharp turning point in the life of every man and woman.
After my wife and the baby came home from hospital, I could feel her experiencing a loss of her personal freedom. She was temporarily stunned by the realization that she could no longer do what she wanted when she felt like doing it. She could not make plans for herself only; the baby’s needs must also be considered. As husband and father, I tried my best to understand the situation and play my role. Nonetheless, there were time communication and understanding broke down and the situation almost got out of hand. This normally happenned as a result of us being tired, nervous and irritable in our eargerness to become good parents.
Open communication between parents and flexibility in both appear to be two most salient elements for establishing an equitable sharing of responsibilities. Though traditionally, the mother has been the primary nurturing figure, the father has obligations too. He should involve too by learning about adjusting to his pregnant wife’s mood, the miracle of birth, and the practicalities of caring for a newborn. New mother normally turn to her husband for extra emotional support at this time, and he should be able and happy to provide the needed understanding and help. He should also involve in baby care right from the start. Awkwardness and feelings of inadequacy lessen with practice, which transates into comfortable, mutually enjoyable bathing, feeding, strolling and playing with baby….
